The Enemy from Within

You remeber my post Family Visits? How I wrote that my grammy Marg was really weak and just generally unwell?

We just got a call from her doctor. She has acute leukemia. The doctor gives her about a month to live.

She's in the hospital now, although she hasn't been told the full extent of her illness. They're not going to even try chemo. The doctor said that in this case the cure would kill her faster and more cruelly than the disease.

I remember how I used to visit her when I was little. She was always up for play-pretend, hide-and-go-seek, and dress-up, always had some new toy for me and my cousins to share. She made me a doll house all by herself. It's really beautiful, the dolls are home-made and everything. She even introduced me to sour-cream-and-onion chips, and I'm the only other person in our family who likes them.

I just can't believe that a woman who was so much a part of my childhood, so much a part of who I am, won't be there anymore. She's always been really strong, even though she hasn't lived the healthiest life. The woman had a heart-attack and drove herself to the hospital.

And now we near the end. What is eating her up is from the inside, and can't be brushed off or pushed through. Her very cells are killing her slowly, like kryptonite to superman. I cry just thinking about it. How scared she must be, overwhelmed, confused. I'm glad we're going to visit her soon. I just want to hug her again, like when I was a little girl.

She used to sing me to sleep with 'My Darling Clementine'. I had forgotten that, until today. . .